clivas:

Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month

fovelshucker:

DONT BE FRIENDS WITH ME I LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES FOR YEARS

(Source: actuallybadcop)

mrozna:

milkscab:

haus-of-ill-repute:

Squirrel being fed by a marionette of an old lady being controlled by an old lady. My life is complete   

Life goals

thegodbutcher:

DONT HIT ON PPL WHO ARE BEING PAID TO BE NICE TO YOU

robotindisguise:

imagine the sound of all their teeny tiny feet on the concrete.


plip plap plip plap

(Source: somersault1824)

tutti-fuckin-fruity:

Two old ladies having a chat

I’M PISSING MYSELF

fieldbears:

I think every writer/artist has that one story/drawing that gets completely skipped over, and they’d never say it aloud, but inside they’re like

'fuck all y'all, that's one of the best things I've done'

plus one story/drawing that everyone loves

'really? that one?’

elixs:

my friend started using his gym card

"Dad was, is and always will be one of the kindest, most generous, gentlest souls I’ve ever known, and while there are few things I know for certain right now, one of them is that not just my world, but the entire world is forever a little darker, less colorful and less full of laughter in his absence. We’ll just have to work twice as hard to fill it back up again." - Zelda Williams

(Source: theroning)

When I got my diagnosis — cancer — I said to myself, you know… ‘Why me?’ And then… the other day when I got the good news… I said the same thing.

(Source: patheticjunkies)